All Time Low
by The Devils Song
Summary: "So you're going to apoligise, hand her the CD and promise to make her favourite dinner?" "Yes." "You're so whipped." "You're so gay." "Touche." Best friends always have your back. That doesn't mean they can't give you hell about it.


All Time Low  
>(Inspired by the band, All Time Low) <p>

* * *

><p>"Seriously, Natsume, how'd you manage to make her <em>this <em>mad?"

"I don't know, Ruka!" qroaned the raven-haired lad, Natsume. His blue-eyed friend, Ruka, watched in amusement as Natsume smacked himself on the head. That hasn't happened for a _long _time.

"Surely you must be able to think of _something _you've done in the past twenty-four hours?" questioned Ruka.

"No, I can't, Ruka!" he yelled, drawing attention from people passing by.

"So you mean to tell me that you dragged me to the mall to search for a sorry present when you don't even know _what _you've done to upset your wife?" Ruka raised an eyebrow at his best friend, starting to question his sanity. Well, he was married to Mikan. She could be rubbing off on him.

"Yes," sighed Natsume. "That's exactly right."

"At six in the morning?"

"Yes."

"You suck, you know that? Did you ever think of _asking _Mikan what you did?"

Natsume rolled his eyes. "You wouldn't ask me that if you were her husband. It's best to pretend you know what she's talking about unless you want her to chop your balls off and serve them to the dogs for dinner."

"I'm pretty sure that's not good for the dogs."

Natsume glared at the boy next to him he calls his best friend. Maybe he wasn't as a good a judge of character as he thought. "I'm pretty sure it's not good for me. Or for you."

Ruka laughed. "How is it not good for me?"

"Who wants to go around to people saying their best friend is the bad ass guy in the corner with no balls?"

"Good point."

They continued strolling around the mall, stopping in any shop that looked remotely promising. "What exactly did Mikan say to you before she kicked you out a five o'clock on a winter morning in only your boxers?" Natsume glared at him for that reminder. He did _not _want to remember the looks he got and the cold that had consumed him.

"She screamed at me about strawberries, bunnies and asked if I was trying to make her fat. Everything else just ran together."

Ruka looked up at the white roof in thought before shrugging his shoulders. "No clue."

"Thought so." They lapsed back into silence and continued their search.

"How about flowers?" Ruka helpfully suggested, just hoping to get home and go back to sleep.

"She's allergic."

"A teddy bear?"

"She freaks out and thinks their going to turn into evil Mr. Bears."

"Cake?"

"Not good for the baby."

"A puppy?"

"Hell no."

Ruka sighed. "Can you think of _anything _you could have done?"

"No," groaned Natsume. "She's freaking pregnant, everything makes her mad! She got mad the other day when I asked if she wanted to go to Mayday Parade's concert. She said I should know that she would want to go without asking since they're her second favourite band. Then she complained that she should have married Alex Gaskarth instead of me."

"Who's Alex Gaskarth?" asked Ruka.

"Lead singer of All Time Low, her _first _favourite band. I personally don't see the difference." He paused outside one shop and stared at an item on display. "Do you think she'd like that?" He asked Ruka, pointing to the item.

Ruka looked back at the item and held in a laugh. "You've reached an all time low, Natsume."

"How have I?"

"Mikan hates Justin Bieber. Even I know that," he replied, looking at the I Heart Justin Bieber shirt in the window of Supre.

Natsume blinked. "I thought she hated One Direction?"

"Them too."

"Oh."

Ruka shook his head. "You didn't even appreciate my clever use of your wife's favourite band."

"Shut up, Ruka." 

* * *

><p>"Okay. Would you rather kiss a poisonous toad or kiss Luna Koizumi?"<p>

"Toad."

"Same."

* * *

><p>Five hours later and this was getting nowhere. It was getting excruciatingly close to lunch now and as twenty-six-year-old men, they needed food. But Natsume would not rest until he had found <em>something<em>. Big mall, huh?

"Natsume, my stomach is going to eat my lungs if we don't stop already. We just passed by six sushi trains, seven hot dog carts, four taco stands and eight McDonalds. Oh, wait, make that nine."

"Ruka, we'll never get back up if we stop now."

Ruka groaned. "Natsume, we'll never get back up if we die of starvation. Then you're actually giving Mikan a chance to not just feed your balls to the dogs but everything else too."

Natsume snorted. "Your wife will probably charge us for dying without two weeks notice." Even Ruka had to laugh at that one. He loved Hotaru, but she probably would find some way to charge dead people. That woman was Hitler reincarnated.

"How about we sit down, eat and discuss possible gifts and possible things that might have upset her. There must be a reason she sent you to wake me up and five thirty in the morning wanting spare clothes and a ride," he said, wondering if they'd be here until tommorow. "She probably thinks your at the pub, drinking away all your problems and hooking up with Swedish bikini models."

"She's too inocent to think that," protested Natsume.

"You have twins and another child on the way, my wife's her best friend and you've been living with her for the past seven years, dating since the past ten. How could she possible retain her innocence?"

"It's Polka," was his only explanation.

"If I let you win, can we grab some sushi?"

". . . Fine."

* * *

><p>They pulled up the front of the house Natsume and Mikan lived in, Natsume clutching a bag with All Time Low's newest CD in it, 'Dirty Work'. The past eight hours had been a torture to them both, and now they just wanted to sleep and never return to that evil place they call the mall.<p>

"So, you're going to apoligize, hand her the CD and then promise to make her favourite dinner?"

"Yes."

"You're so whipped."

"You're so gay."

"Touche."

They marched into the house, Ruka grinning and Natsume scowling. They heard some rustling in the kitchen and Natsume told Ruka to stay there and let him to talk to her. He walked into the kitchen and found Mikan standing in the middle of the kitchen with a broken egg on the floor, flour and milk all over everything, a broken blender in the sink and a twin grasping each of her legs.

"What the . . . ?"

"Daddy! Save us!" pleaded the boy on the left, diving into his father's arms.

"Mummy wants to eat us!" shouted the other boy, latching onto Natsume's other arm.

"Do I want to know what happened?" Both his sons looked up at him, eyes begging for help. They both had his striking crimson eyes and black hair.

"We heard you arguing this morning," sobbed the boy on the left, Hikaru. The boy on the right, Takanari, nodded his head. "So we wanted to make things better. When Mummy went upstairs to take a nap, we started making a cake. But we couldn't find the electric mixer, so we put it in the blender. Then everything boomed."

Natsume sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Go to your room. We'll talk about this later." Both boys nodded before dashing upstairs, out of sight of the Medusa in the kitchen. Natsume swore he heard Ruka chuckle in the background.

"What made you show your face here again?" growled Mikan, evidently still pissed.

"I live here." Glare. "Okay, sorry, bad start. I got you this," he said, lifting up the almost-forgotten bag from the floor and passing it to her, praying she wouldn't call his bribe.

"Oh. I've been wanting this," she stated mildly, placing the bag beside her feet. "Are you going to say sorry?"

"Yes. I'm sorry."

"For?"

Oh, shit. He did not expect that. She was getting too smart for her own good. "For everything I did to you before."

"Which was?" Oh, shit.

"Um . . . I ate your strawberries?"

Mikan blinked. "I was mad at you because Hotaru told me you stole my lucky panties." She paused, the anger seeping back into her eyes. "But _you ate my strawberries_?"

Note to self: Risk getting balls fed to the dogs next time. 

* * *

><p>AN: Yay! Two oneshots in two days. I'm on a roll here! This was my first attempt at a friendship/humour story. I always wanted to write one. And All Time Low inspired this. I'm such a fangirl! But, yeah. I didn't really think this was all that funny. Let me know if think otherwise, okay?

DISCLAIMED: I don't own any copyright material mentioned.

Review please. Good or bad. Share the love, people. Share the love!


End file.
